Fear not. He loves you.

ive just had a rather good experience. it comes not because of my actions, but in spite of them. my biggest struggle is trying to get an accurate look at the Father. Undoing two decades of viewing him as the grumpy step-father is difficult, but i know He wants me to see Him as He is. i haven't been acting in a very Godly manner this last week. ive made decisions that im ashamed of and i have been afraid that more and more my dark side was re-emerging to be the dominant force in my life. trying to bargain with God and beg Him not to leave me in this state as images of sternness and irritation on His part have been hard to shake. but this morning, at the peak of my disgust with myself and fear of my own capacity for evil, i dreamed a spirit of evil tried to enter me and take control and could not. i admit, it was terrifying, but when i awoke the Father reminded me of the deposit of His Spirit that He has placed inside me. such a thing i cannot lose because of the sacrifice of His Son Christ Jesus and my invitation that He be Lord over me. i am so very grateful for a God who, when we are behaving at our worst, will stoop down so low to where i have been and say, "Fear not. I love you." thank you Father. thank you Lord Jesus. thank you Holy Spirit.